We spoke up. We took charge. We asked for more. But where has it actually left us?
Not only are generations of women more burnt out than ever, but the gender pay gap has barely budged in decades.
For women disillusioned by the failed promises of girl power The Ambition Penalty is an essential guide to dismantling the hidden forces that still hold women back, burn them out and make us all pay.
In The Ambition Penalty, journalist Stefanie O’Connell presents a deeply researched and sometimes shocking look at the ways women remain passed over and excluded, not for a lack of ambition but because of it. She calls it “the ambition penalty”—the sum of the financial, personal, and professional costs women face for daring to want more.
The Ambition Penalty dismantles the myth that women are less ambitious than their male peers and debunks common claims—like women aren’t confident enough and don’t speak up enough—used to justify stubborn gender gaps in power. This book reveals why decades of educational gains and empowerment messages have not translated into corresponding advances for women at work or at home.
The Ambition Penalty gives women the talking points they can use to call out these biases and lays out proven practices for leaders and allies committed to cultivating environments where women’s ambitions are supported, rewarded, and celebrated.
Wednesday Sep 2nd
Boston, MA
with Amanda Holden and All She Wrote Books at Connexion
Thursday Nov 12th
Berkeley, CA
with Savala Nolan at UC Berkeley Henderson Center for Social Justice
I wrote The Ambition Penalty after seeing how the myth that women “just need to be more ambitious” stands in the way of a workplace and a world that works better for everyone.
Where instead of advocating for more transparent pay structures and equitable rewards, we blame women for not asking for more. Instead of challenging a workplace culture that rewards destructive and exhausting zero-sum competition, we blame women for being “queen bees.” Instead of demanding greater fairness and accountability from our organizations and their leaders, we blame women for not “hustling” hard enough. Instead of organizing on behalf of policies that support our ambitions both in and outside of the workplace, we blame women for not being committed to their careers.
By recognizing all of the ways the ambition penalty plays out in women’s working lives, not only can we see how the assumptions behind this blame game are wrong, but we can also start to see what they cost us. The Ambition Penalty busts through the myths and misconceptions that keep us distracted and divided, and offers up a new playbook to help us come together and support solutions that actually work better for us all.
"This book offers ambitious women a bold new framework — not by asking them to change who they are or what they want, but by working together to challenge the systems that punish them for it. The Ambition Penalty is not a self-help book, it is a cultural reckoning and an urgent call to action."
Stefanie O’Connell is an award-winning writer covering money, power and ambition. She uses data to expose how power and gender collide to keep women “in their place.” And shows how liberating women’s ambitions can liberate us all.
She wrote, hosted, and co-produced Real Simple magazine’s Webby Award–winning Money Confidential podcast and publishes the Too Ambitious newsletter.
Stefanie’s work has been published in Slate, Bloomberg, Newsweek, USA Today, Glamour UK, Business Insider, and CNBC.com.
A go-to expert on women, work and money, Stefanie has appeared on ABC World News, CBSN, Fox & Friends, Fox Business, Yahoo Finance, Bloomberg, Cheddar, The Doctors and local news stations across the US.
Contact Stefanie here to learn more about booking her to speak at your organization, event or book club — online or in person
"The Ambition Penalty" in the News...
More Press and Television from Stefanie Here
Wall Street Journal [Book Review]: ‘The Ambition Penalty’ Review: Misconceptions in the Office
Fast Company [Book Excerpt]: When Women Ask For More — They Pay For It
Nasdaq/ Motley Fool: The Ambition Penalty: How Women Are Penalized for Being Ambitious
The Globe and Mail: Ask and Thou Shalt Receive (a Pittance)
Bloomberg: Stop Punishing Women For Being Ambitious
And for all the latest, subscribe to the Too Ambitious newsletter and follow along @stefanieoconnell
“The Ambition Penalty not only gets you up to speed on all the latest research on the forces holding women back, but provides practical scripts on how to counter the narratives keeping us stuck, and in doing so starts a new conversation on how collectively we can ask for and expect more. Every woman in your life needs a copy, and the men married to them and managing them do, too!”